Well, a LOT has happened this year!

Well, I feel like a total jerk.  I haven't posted a blog post since right after I found out I was pregnant!  A LOT has happened.

We welcomed a BEAUTIFUL baby boy named London Xavier on July 6th!  He was born at 32 weeks gestation (2 months early!) weighing 4lbs 3oz and 18.5 inches long.  It is a crazy delivery story so I will make a separate blog post for that..but I am just SO thankful he is healthy.

Avery has been an AMAZING big sister.  I won't lie, I was a little nervous at how she would handle not being the center of everyone's attention..but she is so sweet.  She calls him "baby brother" almost always and rarely calls him London.  London thinks she is pretty cool too, it is amazing to already see the bond that they have.  She will walk over to him and talk to him and he will turn his head to look at her.  Every morning she makes sure she says "Good Morning baby brother" to him.  I LOVE it.  I am just SO thankful that we are a family of 4.  It is crazy and hectic at times but I certainly wouldn't trade it for the world!

I know I say it all of the time, but I am really going to try to keep up with this.  You can all hold me to it!

I'll post about my pregnancy and the crazy delivery next, but for now, here are some pics of my beautiful kiddos:

London's newborn pics:

Avery's 2 year pictures:
 

Avery 2 1/2 & London 2 months:
 

Oh, to NYC we will go!

It's true!  Ross and I will be beginning another journey to NYC!  We are proceeding with doing a frozen embryo transfer this month (provided all goes well)!  We decided to do this officially a couple of weeks ago.  It has been a little stressful coordinating things from a different state but I know that if we did it before, we can do it again!!

Thankfully, this time around there won't be as many trips necessary and we are even able to do some of the monitoring here in Ohio if we choose.  We are trying to decide what to do because it will cost us more money to do it here in Ohio, but of course it will be a lot harder to travel back and forth.  

We decided to do this because we have one frozen embryo left and felt it was the right time.  I am a giant ball of emotions right now about it all.  I am excited for the journey, I am nervous, scared, hopeful, etc.  This could potentially be our last shot at having another child. I want this so badly for Avery, I feel like she deserves a sibling.  Words can't express how much I love her!  

I will go into more depth at another time, but we will be traveling to NYC on Sunday for a Hysteroscopy on Monday.  I had one of these while doing the clinical trial for our IVF.  They pretty much clean out my uterus and give it the best possible environment for an embryo to attach.  They are doing this because I have endometriosis and also since I had a c-section, they want to make sure they remove any scar tissue that may be present.  I am praying I have an easier time this time around as I had a lot of pain and bleeding a few days after the procedure that caused me to go to the emergency room.  

We decided to make a little (very little) getaway out of this trip.  We thought since I had to be there so early on Monday it would be best to stay overnight rather than drive over night like we did in the past.  We are hoping to go into the city for the evening and see a little more than we did before.  What better time to be traveling to NYC than around the Holidays?!

We are both excited for this journey, and we ask for all of the prayers we can get.  They worked last time and I pray they work this time!  Stay tuned..our next month will be busy!!

Houston, we have an embryo left!

Well, you heard it!  We finally heard back from New Hope and we DO indeed have 1 frozen embryo there!  We have been trying to get in touch with the clinical research coordinator for nearly a year to find out the status.  We wanted to know so that we had some closure if they ended up destroying it.  It's kind of interesting on how we finally found out!

I searched for New Hope Fertility Center on facebook just to see if they had a page and there ended up being one, so I 'liked' it.  I left a comment on their wall stating my appreciation for the clinic and everyone who worked there because they were all so fabulous.  The next day I got a message from the administrator of the page thanking me for leaving such a nice comment and that the clinical research coordinator was also appreciative for me saying those things.  He proceeded to then ask me if I would be interested in doing a video interview for the clinic!  They are putting together positive stories, I'm assuming to show patients or those interested in the clinic.  

I immediately said yes and said that I would be willing to make a trip back to NYC to do so.  I just try SO hard to give others HOPE that are going through the same thing, and I REALLY owe the clinic that.  Infertility is a heart wrenching thing to go through and I HATE seeing people go through that kind of pain.  I want to put my story out there for them so they hang on and see the beautiful outcome.  

I told him that we will be vacationing in Florida in April and that I would like to come in May for the video, so he wants me to get in touch a little closer to then and he said he will make it work.  I feel VERY flattered to have been asked to do such a thing.  I will never TRULY understand the reasoning God chose me to be infertile, but what I can do, is help others through it as best as I can.  And who knows, maybe that's why he chose me.  

At any rate, we still have an embryo so we need to decide shortly on if we plan on leaving it banked in NYC or if we want to bring it back to a clinic here and PRAY we will one day have enough money to do a Frozen Embryo Transfer.  It's amazing the things that we will do for our kids, both future AND present :)

Tomorrow is the day!!

Well, I am being induced TOMORROW! This little girl isn't in much of a hurry to come out! I go in at 6:30pm so we will most likely be meeting our miracle sometime Friday afternoon! I have been sitting here in disbelief..because I just can't believe it is finally happening! I'm so anxious to see her and actually meet this miracle who has been inside of me for 9 months! A miracle that we tried so hard for over 4 years to have. I can assure you I will never take her for granted. We are so blessed to be able to have this baby and I think sometimes people don't take the time to realize how lucky they are. I guess it's a little easier to see when you struggle for so long with infertility.

I'm so excited to see if she has hair, if she has long fingers, her feet, legs, little butt, ears, etc. I'm so excited about every part of this baby. She is the true definition of a miracle and I have only God to thank for her!

I'm a little nervous about labor to be honest..it's just scary to me..but at the same time I'm so thankful I actually get to experience it. It's something I never thought would come. At my last appointment I was only a fingertip dilated so what they have to do is use a foley catheter (it has a balloon) and manually dilate me to about 3-4 where it will then fall out and they will use some sort of hormone cream before they can even begin potocin (sp?).

So, that is that for now..in a mere 2 days I will be holding my miracle in my arms! Here are some of our maternity pics we got back!!

It's almost time!

WOW! I am just a few days away from my due date! I have been really terrible about updating this blog though..I don't know why I find it a chore to sit down and write, but I do! Everything has been going really well. At my last few appointments there has really been no change..I'm not dilated at all but she has definitely dropped. Lately I have been feeling uncomfortable but that is to be expected for sure.

I have an appointment tomorrow so maybe we will have made some progress by then! If not, my doctor said we will probably induce around 41 weeks and if we wanted to go a few days after (to give myself a chance to go into labor on my own) then we could but we will definitely not go over 42 weeks because that gets to be too dangerous for the baby.

At this point, I am just getting SO anxious! There were 8 woman due within 2 weeks of me and they have ALL had their babies! It's just such a crazy thought that we tried for over 4 years to have this baby..and now we are (hopefully) days away from meeting our little miracle! I can't thank God enough. I am just so thankful for the opportunity we had with the trial study and have a hard time believing that it's even still real! For the record, I guess the clinic is now doing Mini IVF as an option and not just for the trial study..I am SO glad!

I will post a few pics of Avery's nursery now..it's pretty much done! I just can't wait to bring her home to it!

There are a few pics of her nursery. That's all I have for now, the next update with me the announcement of Miss Avery Hope!!

Christmas and 31 weeks!

Hey everyone!! I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. Our Christmas this year was really good, minus the fact that Ross had to work..but he did it so he can be home for Avery's first Christmas next year! I had such a great time with both of our families, I'm so thankful for all of them. Best gift was the HD Camcorder my parents bought us. We totally didn't expect that! They had already gave us money to put towards our new computer (since our other one blew up) and also a Keurig coffee maker..so that was MORE than enough right there! The camcorder will be SO great so we can put videos online for my family in California and of course to just be able to have videos of Avery.

The fact that Christmas is now over makes me realize how quickly the time is approaching that we will be meeting our little princess! 2 months, that's it! My first shower is on January 9th and I couldn't be more excited for it! I have dreamed of this for YEARS! I'm a little anxious about timing with everything and whether or not we will have everything we need..but I'm sure we will be fine. There's always "what ifs" and I question everything! Like, how many newborn outfits do we need? What about 0-3? 3-6? Crazy!

Anyhow, I am feeling pretty good still! Thankfully! I can tell I am definitely getting sleepy as the days go by..but my body is feeling good. She is getting the hiccups constantly, and seems to be moving more and more! It's funny sometimes when I'm sitting because my whole belly moves! It's such a funny feeling but also funny to watch. I am still on every 2 week appointments so my next one is this Wednesday


Here are a few pics for ya! The belly pics are at 31 weeks.

Okay! That's it for now! I hope you all have a great New Year's!

25 weeks and Avery's Nursery!

Wow! 25 weeks already! In the beginning it seemed like time was creeping by but now it seems like it is going SO fast! I am feeling great so far, I can feel the exhaustion coming back. It's not the same as it was in the beginning where I couldn't get through the day without a nap, but I can feel myself getting really exhausted. However, once I get home and get ready for bed it's hard to actually sleep! My mind races about this and that and it's like my body is so tired but my brain isn't.

We received a gift in the mail from Target last week from a guy that Ross knows from the internet. This is the 2nd surprise from people we know via internet. SO sweet!!! It sure does brighten your day when things like that happen! This passed weekend we started Avery's nursery! We painted the walls and put together all of her furniture. Just by doing that I feel SO much better. We still have to get her bedding and we are really thinking about doing a mural on the wall to match the bedding but we will decide that for sure once we see the bedding in the room. We hope to get her room done by the holidays/Christmas. It gets so busy around the holidays and everything and my first shower will be January 9th, so I want the room ready to go so we just have to put everything away. I can't believe how quickly it's all happening!

Well, here are some pictures..first off my 25 week pic!



Here are some before pics of the nursery....




And after it's painted and the furniture is together!




Okay! That's it for now!

xoxo,
Jenn

Oops..it's been awhile!

WOW! I can't believe it! I am already 24 weeks along! The pic above is me at 23 weeks however..I haven't gotten my new pictures uploaded. I am just in AWE of how amazing this experience is! I love my little girl so much I can't even stand it! Now I am REALLY feeling her kicks and even Ross is able to feel them a lot of the time. Her personality is already so stinkin cute!

My last appointment was at 22 weeks and I was measure at 21 which is totally normal. You should measure within 2 weeks of how far you actually are, either way. I'm hoping she will stay smaller as she has been. At our ultrasound with the doctor, she was in the 35th percentile. My OB says no big babies for me! I'm too small to handle a big baby. My next appointment is @ 26 weeks and I will be doing my glucose test (wish me luck!).

We have purchased all of our furniture!!! Yay! We just really need to get the bedding now so that we can paint and get everything put together. With the holidays coming we really want to get it done so that once I have my showers we can just put everything away.

Anyhow, things are great over here, loving every minute and feeling blessed every minute. I still can't even believe it a lot of the time! My weight gain has been great too, only at 5.5lbs. My OB wants me to gain about 5lbs this month since I lost weight in the beginning.

Okay, that's about it for now! I will try harder to keep posting!

Our ultrasound :)

Hey! Alright, I can finally post about our amazing ultrasound!

Anyhow, first off..it was just so AMAZING!! First the tech had the normal 2D u/s on to determine the sex, and the minute she said "It's a girl" everyone screamed! Luckily so many people went, it was nice to have a family that is so supportive! Out of my family it was my mom, dad, sister, grandma, grandpa, aunt, and cousin..and out of his? His mom. I'm just thankful she came. After that she was moving around like CRAZY! Every time we have seen her, she has been SO active.

She started out pretty much upside down with her head and belly facing down, then she turned facing in towards me, then she flipped facing out..she was everywhere! The tech was amazed at how active she was. In the 3D, she started with her right hand covering her face..but then later she still had her hand up there but it looked exactly like she was blowing kisses! She had her hand under her chin! She was in so many cute positions it's hard to think of them all! Let's see..we have a really good picture of her doing a peace sign..it is hilarious! She also was laying with her hands above her head for a little while..then it looked like she was cuddling up with my uterus..it was so cute! She had her hands by her face and knees pulled up..it was awesome! For awhile there she would literally kick and push off of my uterus too! I was amazed that I wasn't feeling it! Anyway..if you are friends with me on facebook Ross made a video and I am tagged in it so you should be able to see most of the pictures..I haven't had a chance to put them up yet.

Anyway, better run but wanted to let you know what it was like!

Oh! And her name is Avery Hope! We have loved the name Avery but when we decided the middle name Hope..we chose that for sure. We chose Hope as a middle name because it is part of the name of the clinic "New Hope" and without them, this opportunity never would have happened! And also, without Hope..we never would have gotten through all of the tough times when dealing with infertility.

Okay gotta go!

It's a...........

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be back later to post about it, but wanted to let you know!!! She is beautiful!!

Change of plans!!

I wanted to post tonight real quick while I have a minute, but we have decided to have a 3D ultrasound...so that means we will find out what our little miracle is TOMORROW!! I will post ASAP so stay tuned everyone!!!

xoxo
Jenn

16 weeks :)

There is my 16 week belly pic! I can actually really notice a difference this week between the two pictures. I can't really tell on myself, but putting them side to side makes me feel like things are okay and this little one is doing well. We are so excited that we find out what we are having in about 2 1/2 weeks! I am probably going to be a nervous wreck that day waiting in anticipation! We have been going to baby stores and just can't wait to register and buy clothes and everything..SO amazing!

AFM, I am feeling pretty good. I'm not AS tired as I was in the beginning but still tired. I am still having some major food aversions..but it's getting better I think. Last week I had 2 days where I had a nasty sinus headache and it affected me so much that I couldn't eat..they made me feel soo nauseous! I am headed back to the ENT though on Wednesday so I am hoping something can be done. Other than that, I haven't felt the baby move yet, but I will be so excited when I do! That will be another sign that everything is okay.

That's about it for now but I wanted to post the picture before I forgot! Hope everyone is well!

Amazing :)

Hey everyone!

Well, I am now 15 weeks along and blessed every single day of the 15 weeks! We had our latest doctors appointment about a week ago and have a scheduled date of September 30th for our BIG ultrasound! We will be definitely finding out what this little miracle is, and then right away we will be registering and getting everything ready! With the holidays we feel like we need to do everything early since we will probably be so busy with everything else. Anyhow, our appointment was GREAT! We were able to hear our little ones heartbeat (but not until after being scared to death because my doctors doppler wasn't working right!) but it was there and she said it was "perfect"! Every time we go I always get this scared feeling deep down because after going through all of the infertility and having so many let downs, it's hard to believe that things are going WELL for once! We are so blessed with this little miracle that's for sure!

I am officially in my 2nd trimester (yay!) and am still feeling a lot of food aversions. Sometimes I feel like I could vomit at any minute! I really hate this feeling because I hate not being able to eat. I lost 2lbs at my last appointment! I don't want to lose weight because I know it is taking away from what the baby needs. Anyhow, look for an update on September 30th for the news! Now for my 15 week belly shot! Still not much there, but I think it will be here soon enough!

In Awe :)

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update! Anyhow, since my last post we have made our LAST two NYC trips! YES!! We have finally "graduated" from the fertility clinic and are "normal"!

Our 1st of the last appointments we had an ultrasound and were able to see and hear our little peanuts heartbeat. THAT was sooo amazing. I was so nervous just because of the circumstances but "she" was beating away! I already love our little peanut SO much!

Our 2nd (last) appointment we had another ultrasound but this time our baby looked SO much different! "She" had legs and arms! It was just such an amazing sight..it was truly so beautiful! She's already super cute, and every time I look at the photo, I just start laughing because she's sooooo cute! When the tech held the probe in one spot you could see our little ones arms and legs moving all over the place! It was adorable!

After our ultrasound we met with the doctor and he basically just thanked us and told us that "we are changing the world of In-vitro". He said that with the Mini IVF we did 5% of the usual injections..which is incredible! I am so thankful we have been able to be a part of this experience and I can't wait to get a copy of the study. That fertility clinic has given us our dream and I will never be able to repay them for that! So, in honor of them, we decided that if we have a girl (which of course..as you can tell above..we think it's a girl) her middle name will be Hope. The fertility centers name is "New Hope Fertility Center" which is SO true. It honestly gave us new hope!

Okay I am so sorry this is rather short..but I am exhausted!

Oh! And our actual due date is February 26th, 2010!

xoxo
Jenn

It's a deep hurt.

This afternoon/evening has been a little difficult for me. We found out that our very good friends have lost their baby. She was only a few weeks ahead of me. I feel so terrible for them and it honestly hurts me on the inside to know they are going through this. These are two AWESOME people and they don't deserve this. However, I told her that we may never understand why God does the things he does, but there is always a reason behind it. Sometimes we may never find out why, but there is.

It has taken me a long time to realize this myself. But after the last few months, how can I not? We have been through a grueling 4 years. We have cried, screamed, hated, loved, and really just felt every emotion possible..but it was all for this beautiful reason. It has made us so much stronger than we were before and now more than ever..we will never take anything for granted.

I'm just so sad for them. I'm sad that (provided everything goes well with my pregnancy) she will have to watch me go through my pregnancy and have a beautiful outcome..when she was supposed to have that too, only a few weeks before me. I pray that they will remain strong, faithful, and that they will come out on top. I know they will, they are great people. I just need to put her emotions ahead of mine and be there for her and pray that she will be okay.

I know what it is like to be jealous. Watching everyone around you get pregnant and you've never even seen a positive pregnancy test before. I don't want her to feel this way. It is a terrible feeling. A feeling so bad that you can't even go to baby showers. Something that is such a happy place for everyone else is not so happy for you. As happy as you want to be for someone, and as much as you love them..doesn't hold back the jealousy and hurt that you feel. It's natural.

They were supposed to come in town next week and stay with us for a few days so we could hang out and have fun..but I'm not so sure that they will be coming anymore, but I don't blame them. They need this time to grieve..but I would also love to see them so we can show them how much we do care.

Speaking of deep hurt. We spoke in church Sunday. Boy, was that hard! It was hard to talk without crying. I don't know why I was even crying..either the hurt we have felt or the amazing miracle we have been given..or both? I really appreciate the feedback we received from people. A few had their own testimony to share with me (which was DEFINITELY nice to hear) and some just telling us how happy they were for us as they knew what a journey it had been for us. The hardest part was never hearing from parts of his family. They had known how hard it was for us..and not a word. I guess they still hate us from not being around..but never do they ask the real reason for that. Some of you know what I am talking about, some of you don't, but I'm not going to elaborate. It just proves even more so now how I have never been a true part of that family. I've never mattered enough to them..and probably never will. I pray that would change, but I can't change their hearts.

I feel a deep hurt everyday for everything that happened with his family. I hurt about all of the mean things that were said about me. I hurt knowing that people I thought loved me, really didn't. I hurt that "family" would be so cruel. I hurt that my child is probably going to miss out on the most special times with that family. It's not our babies fault. But, I will probably be ridiculed for everything I do or say, or the way I look..so why would I want to subject her/him to that? I don't want them constantly wondering what is being said about them either..it hurts too much. I try to remain strong..but when you have terribly low self esteem, sometimes it's not enough.

Anyhow..I guess tonight is just a really sad night for me. I hurt for our friends. I hurt for a lot of different reasons tonight. I haven't felt this sad in a long time. Maybe I'm just tired.

Until next time,
xoxo
Jenn

Heartbeat on Saturday!

Hey everyone! So, our appointment in NYC to hear our little ones heartbeat has been moved to this coming Saturday. It was originally going to be Tuesday but I am SO thankful they let us move it to Saturday. That way, I don't have to miss any work and Ross was able to get his weekend moved so he didn't have to use any days. I am so so excited, yet so so scared. I keep trying to be positive..but there are ALWAYS "what ifs". I am really trying not to focus on those..but I do have to keep it in my head as a possibility unfortunately.

My mom and sister are going to be going with us, which should be nice. It won't be so lonely on the ride there and back, LOL! Anyhow, please keep us in your prayers as I will probably be a nervous wreck.

Hope you all are well!

xoxo
Jenn

What I'm feeling....

Well, I am a whopping 4 weeks and 3 days along! But I thought I would use this to document everything like I have with our infertility. So far I have only had minor symptoms such as: fatigue, getting hungry more often, urinating more often, and I am STILL having this metal taste in my mouth! A few days before we found out I started tasting a metal taste in my mouth..but I made myself believe it wasn't a symptom and kept telling myself it was my braces! Anyhow, I am still tasting it and today it has been a lot more than other days. That's okay though because I know these are only minor for what's to come..and I am TOTALLY fine with that!

I am really excited that by sharing our experience we have had some people come out to us and ask questions as they are having to go through this themselves. That is the whole reason I put this out there and informed everyone about our NYC trips. I feel like God had given us this challenge to be able to help others. I hope the word can spread even further and we get really be a source of help for people..SO, if you know anyone who is going through infertility or if they think they will have to go through it..PLEASE send them our way! If they don't want to leave a comment on here, feel free to email me @ JennMusick1@yahoo.com

Okay..that's really it for now..I am SO exhausted! Maybe time for a nap!

xoxo
Jenn

The results are in.....

I'M PREGNANT!!!! Can you believe it?! I am SHOCKED!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted sooner, we actually found out on Wednesday but it has been a little crazy since! My hCG level was 26 on Wednesday and they consider anything at 25 or above pregnant. I had a horrible time getting the blood work done though..I thought for sure it was a sign of a horrible outcome to my day!

Anyhow, I went again today for blood work (to a different lab, mind you..where they could ACTUALLY do my results STAT and not just tell me they can..and then can't..yeah that was my day Wednesday..LOL!). My results are GREAT! My hCG is now 80 (which means it actually TRIPLED! They want it to at least double), my progesterone is 29, and my estrogen is 327. He said my numbers are great and that I will continue with taking my Estrace 2x a day and my progesterone gel. In 1 week and 2 weeks I will complete more blood work to make sure my numbers continue to rise like they should, and then in 3 weeks we will have our first ultrasound! We will also go back in 4 weeks I believe and should be released from the clinic! This means no more driving back and forth to NYC! It will be bitter sweet I am sure but I just pray that my numbers continue to be great and I have a nice healthy pregnancy!

I'm not feeling too much different, I am getting extremely tired during the day and getting tired earlier at night. I also woke up hungry this morning for the first time. Not sure if that's just a fluke or if it's the start! Anyhow, I am officially 4 weeks and 1 day today..hard to believe but we are SO thrilled! Best Father's day gift EVER for him!!!

Okay, gotta run!
xoxo keep the prayers coming!

All Systems Go!!!

Well, the transfer was successful! I'll start with the beginning of the trip though, just because :)

My sister actually came with us this time. She's never been to NYC before so she thought it would be fun and she didn't have to work. We ended up getting to the clinic and all they had to do was blood work. They basically just needed to confirm that the transfer was going to be the next day. They had said that they would call later in the day to let us know what time it would be. After we left the clinic we headed to Times Square and walked around for a bit and had a quick lunch at Planet Hollywood..since last time we tried to eat there they called us back for the retrieval! After that we went to the World Trade Center area so she could see that..I could walk around there a hundred times probably and never get bored!

Anyhow, we were all pretty exhausted so we headed back to the hotel and checked in and everything. I still hadn't heard from them at 3pm but decided to give it a little longer. We all took a nap and I realized that I had slept passed 5!! I tried to call but it just kept going to their voicemail so I started freaking out..I was finally able to leave a message for the on call doctor. He called me back and basically said from what he remembered from my records, everything looked okay and to just come on in the morning. After that we just basically hung around the hotel and watched some John and Kate plus 8.

The next morning I called and they confirmed that I was on the schedule for 10:45. Then it all started to seem real! This was REALLY going to happen! We got there, they took me upstairs, and I changed into the beautiful gown, booties, and hair net..fabulous, lol! I waited there for a little bit and was able to chat with the lady beside me. She was having her retrieval and I told her what a great experience I had with mine and told her she would be okay. I went in and talked with the nurse..she has been there for every one of my procedures and I absolutely love her! She gave me a shot (of what? I'm not sure, one of my friends seems to think it was Progesterone because that's what she had..so I'm guessing it probably was because it makes sense!) and then basically just went over some of the after care instructions.

Then, they gave me a picture of my little embryo! You would have thought I had seem my full term baby for the first time! My heart literally melted! This was the closest we have ever been to have a baby and I just saw it all before my eyes. Anyhow, they then called me back and I got up in the chair. The doctor talked to me for a second and then they put my embryo up on a monitor and made me confirm my number..it was nice ot see it again :) He then did the transfer, it was quick and easy! Mostly like a pap smear, nothing more than that. Afterwards he said that the embryo looked great and my lining was great..so he expected to hear good news next week! This was SO reassuring to me! The doctor even said so! YES!

Afterwards I just layed back in a chair in the recovery room for about 20 minutes. Then I went and finished talking to the nurse and went over the rest of the after care instructions. They told me not to lay in bed for the next week because all it does is make the time go by longer and can even cause more stress on your body. They told me to go on with my normal activities..just in moderation. The trial coordinator came in and said that I needed to come back next Wednesday and Friday for blood work..BUT they are letting me do it at home. I can't keep driving back and forth for just blood work..it costs us too much money each time! Anyhow..so that means we will find out on Wednesday! I can't believe it! I just keep praying that this is going to finally be IT! It just has to be!

I am remaining positive and following the instructions to have no stress..so far, it's been pretty good. I just can't believe it is so soon! I am also so grateful for our family and friends who are constantly praying for us. I am so glad we have so much support! It is so important and I will be forever grateful to them!

Alright, gotta run but wanted to post about the transfer! God is SO good!!!

The show is on the road!

WOW!!! This last trip to NYC was definitely the most stressful, THAT'S for sure! We had an amazing drive in this time. I drank a Rockstar and actually was able to drive half of the way (for once..I always fall asleep!) and Ross got an Amp for his drive and we were set! We actually made good time too and got to the train station at about 7:15am. We grabbed some iced coffees and something small for breakfast and had to wait about 40 minutes or so for the next train since the weekend schedule isn't as often. So, we get on the train and get to the next station and they announce that we were being held there because of a power outage at New York-Penn Station. We waited for like 20 minutes and then they came on saying that we could get on another train, go to another station, and then take the PATH train into the city. So, we did that, but I was totally frightened once we were headed down the escalator only to see people flying off of it at the bottom into a sea of people!! It was like I saw my death before my eyes! I knew I was going to be one of those people in only a matter of seconds! Anyhow, lucky for us the people at the bottom cleared the way before we got down there. Once we were down there I said screw it because there were SO many people waiting for the same train..we weren't going to get on. So, we went back upstairs to the train we had gotten off of and decided to wait it out..then, they announced that the train was turning around and going back to the station we had come from! We got off and went to a different platform and waited for a different train, we waited probably 30-40 minutes for that one..got on, and then went to a totally unfamiliar train station. We then got on another train to take us into the city (which we had to wait for as well..actually we had to wait for 2 before we could actually get on because there were so many people cramming onto them). We got on, and it took us to another unfamiliar station, luckily there was a subway there and we were able to find a route that would take us to where we needed to get off! UGH! So, what should have taken us 1 hour, took us 4! Ross was able to laugh about it..me? Not so much.

So, we got to the clinic and all I had to do this time was get blood taken. So, we talked to the coordinator and asked him if we could wait for the results since we are from out of town, we needed to know if we had to stay or not. So, we waited for about an hour..in the mean time I went to see if they could extend my FMLA since it only went through the 8th. Well, basically they said no because since the one they were able to fill out was because I had surgery there and paid for it. Since I am receiving free treatment I am really only a number (I check in with a #..not my name) so when my work would call to get medical records, they would only have a surgery listed under my name and nothing else. Freaking awesome. Bah!

After waiting, they called me back and said that my transfer is on Wednesday! WOW! He said that I ovulated on Friday so 5 days after that is Wednesday. They have to do the transfer on Wednesday because they froze the eggs on day 5. We have to go on Tuesday for blood work just to confirm the transfer date, and then the transfer will be the next day! So, he said I basically just have to take it totally easy on that day..so we have decided just to stay the night and then drive back the next day, and I will take it easy Thursday too. I am going to try to take it as easy as possible until it's the date I get tested to find out if I get pregnant or not! I am also taking Estrace (estradiol) 2x a day, and taking a progesterone suppository every night (fun, right?) and will continue those he said for 6 weeks.

So, that's where we are! We are SO close!! If you pray, please please pray that this is it and it works! This is just about our last chance to ever have our own baby and I just pray it works! I feel like I am almost too confident that it's going to work..and I know that I will be let down that much harder if it doesn't work, but I have to remain positive and let nothing get to me!

Better run, I will post when I get back! Wish us luck!

xoxo
Jenn