Decided to go to the ER..

Here's the scoop:

My bleeding still hasn't slowed down. I went pee last night around midnight and had a ton of blood gush out when I sat down, and then when I woke up at 6 I had a TON more just like fall out. It was so disgusting. Anyhow, I got in the shower and was getting ready for work and just started feeling really weak and light headed and shaky..so I told DH that I thought I needed to go to the ER. Well, we got there and had to wait about an hour as I am guessing they were slammed from last night with the holiday..there weren't many people in the waiting room but they didn't exactly take my bleeding much of a priority. We got back there and I changed into a gown and the nurse said that once the doctor came in he would probably want to go a pelvic exam so I would have to take my underwear off at some point. He came in and started asking questions about what I had done, yada yada. Every single person thought it was ridiculous it seemed that we were traveling to NYC for IVF. I didn't want to tell them I was participating in a clinical trial because since I work in insurance, I knew that if they even put a clinical trial diagnosis on the claim, it would get denied..even though the procedure was done as a normal patient and I am paying for it. He did my pelvic exam and said that there wasn't any sort of problem and the blood was just coming from my uterus. He spoke with another doctor and then they checked my blood levels and gave me an entire bag of fluids. They then called my doctor in NYC and they decided it would be okay for me to go home, but I just need to be checked out when we go to NYC on Friday.

So, it appears there's not a real issue (which is what I was really concerned about) and I guess I will just let it run it's course. I am cramping pretty bad again and bleeding really heavily still..it just confuses me that I have no idea where all of this blood is coming from. I already had my period about a week ago and it just seems like so much more than that.

I just keep hoping that it will slow down but it doesn't seem like it's going to any time soon. Guess we will have to just wait and see for our appointment on Friday! This is going to be a long trip if I am still bleeding like this..Holy cow.

Okay..so maybe I'm not feeling so hot.

Okay, so if you have a weak stomach, I will warn you now to turn away. If not, I'm still sorry if I am being too graphic for you, but when you live a life of infertility..it's what I have to deal with.

I had been feeling great after the Hysteroscopy. I only had some slight spotting and minimal cramping..I thought I was in the clear. Sunday morning I went pee, and had nothing when I wiped but by noon it was like a faucet was turned on. I had felt kind of weird and was cramping a little bit but I honestly didn't think much about it. I waited for about 2 hours to see if it would let up and it didn't so I called the clinic. The lady that was in the operating room with me actually got on the phone and asked me questions like how heavy it was and what color it was. I told her that it was bright red blood and it was a lot when I would sit down on the toilet. She put me on hold while she talked to the doctor and came back and said that if I filled 1 pad in 1 hour, then I needed to go to the emergency room. Otherwise, I needed to be seen the next morning. I told her that would be really difficult because I live in Ohio and she said just to call them back with what I had to do because they would need to put that in my chart.

I waited for awhile and never filled a pad. As a matter of fact, it was the weirdest bleeding I have ever had. It never hit the pad, it would only come spilling out when I would sit on the toilet. When I say spilling out, I mean spilling out. There was so much that the water was all red in the toilet. I felt like total shit. I was sooo crampy and uncomfortable from the pad. I contemplated all day on what I should do because it honestly just didn't seem normal. The paper they sent me home with said that I wouldn't get a period for about 30-40 days as basically what they did during the procedure was completely clean my uterus out..so where was the blood coming from?

Later Ross and I decided to get something to eat so we went to TGI Fridays. I felt fine until after I ate..then I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere. Afterwards though we went and walked around Walmart because I wanted to see if it would come out or not. Luckily on our way home Kim (from mybabyish) called me and made me feel a lot better. She shared her experience with having a D & C which is mostly the same thing, except I wasn't having a miscarriage. I decided to wait it out through the night and give the clinic a call in the morning.

I called this morning and spoke to a different nurse. This time she made it sound like it was totally normal since I was on birth control for 3 days before the procedure. I just found it so weird that the girl yesterday sounded really concerned about the bleeding, and today she sounded like it was fine. So..basically all day I just held out and have been dealing with it. Though it seemed to get heavier today as I finally started bleeding onto the pad. This morning though when I woke up I felt like I was going to vomit after looking into the toilet. It just came pouring out..SO gross.

It's these kinds of things that people who can get pregnant so easily don't understand! It's these kinda of things that we have to go through! It's not just frustrating, it's physically painful and horrible.

Ok, that's my rant for now..I'm going to watch it and maybe call my OBGYN tomorrow to see what they think.

Oh, and sorry if this was TMI!

**Jenn**

Hysteroscopy....CHECK!

So, we're back, AGAIN! For some reason this trip seemed so much more exhausting..I think I'm starting to hit a wall.

Anyhow, we left earlier than we usually do because I had to be to the office at 8. We wanted to allow 1 hour from the train station to the office, but we ended up being about 10 minutes late..but that was okay. I for some reason just can't stay awake over night to save my life. Ross always ends up driving the whole way because I just basically crash. This was the first time we had to pull over for about 30 minutes for him to get a power nap. I don't know how he does it to be honest.

When we got to the clinic, they took me upstairs relatively quickly. I went up, they put my band on me and I changed into the beautiful gown, booties, and hair net. I waited there for awhile, I saw the lady before me having the same thing done come out and she talked to me about it and said it was so quick and she wasn't hurting at all. That was reassuring because at this point my leg was shaking like crazy! Anyhow, I talked with the nurse for awhile, she is such a sweet lady. They then called me back and I walked back, got up on the table and was once again open to the world to see. I have definitely lost all modesty. Legs high up in the air, spread, and gown pushed back with about 3 or 4 people in the room=NICE. LOL! Anyhow, the anesthesiologist was awesome. He put my IV in so quickly and within probably a minute I was out!! I woke up in the recovery room which freaks me out a little bit because that means I had to of gotten off of the chair in the operating room, into a wheelchair, and into another chair in the recovery room. LOL, none of this I remember. I just remember waking up in the chair. I basically just laid there for probably 10 minutes because I felt so tired. Once I was okay I got up and got changed and then talked with the nurse about what they found.

They found some Endometriosis overgrowth and she said it scraped off really easily, and that they cleaned out my entire uterus so it's basically all brand new that way I have a better chance of the embryo implanting. YES! I felt so great about that and then wondered if that was the reason all along. It seems like my eggs can fertilize easily but I am wondering if the problem lied in my uterus with not a good place for it to implant. Let's hope this is now solved!

Anyhow, we met with the clinical research guy and he said he would like us to be back this coming Friday for an ultrasound and bloodwork. Luckily this time we don't have to wait (which is going to feel like even more pointless for driving 8 hours each way for something that takes 15 minutes..but it IS worth it I keep telling myself!). He sent me home with Estradiol and Progesterone to take once they call me back with those results. He just wanted to give it to me then so I have it.

One thing bad came out of this whole trip and that was that he wouldn't fill out my FMLA form. I am devastated by this because I am out of days that I can use at work and now that I am on unpaid time off, each section of days counts as an occurance I think. So, I think I will get one from this past trip, next week, and then the transfer. That would be 3! I am so nervous because I HATE having things like that on me. I'm just so scared that it's all going to crumble now..I just pray that it won't.

Anyhow, on the way home I think it was the longest of all. We ended up having to stop again for 30 minutes because he was just too tired..and me, I wasn't any help seeing that I was sleeping off the anesthesia still. Once we got home we were sooo glad.

I really felt fine after the procedure, just a little spotting. But as the day went on I started to cramp a bit and spotted more. I think it was just from the car ride being so bumpy and everything. The next day I didn't go to work because I was having such a hard time waking up. That anesthesia had the best of me I think, It was honestly painful to wake up the next day.

I am really thankful that we won't be missing my sisters graduation party. Our appt is on Friday and her party is on Saturday. I feel bad we won't be able to help get ready like we had originally planned, but thankfully my family is so supportive and they know what we need to do.

The transfer should be in about 2 weeks..so please keep your fingers crossed that it can be on like a Thursday or Friday so I don't miss too much work! I have to have a job! Sometimes it just seems so unfair that no one really gets what this is like. Really.

Until next time!
xoxo
Jenn