The results are in.....

I'M PREGNANT!!!! Can you believe it?! I am SHOCKED!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted sooner, we actually found out on Wednesday but it has been a little crazy since! My hCG level was 26 on Wednesday and they consider anything at 25 or above pregnant. I had a horrible time getting the blood work done though..I thought for sure it was a sign of a horrible outcome to my day!

Anyhow, I went again today for blood work (to a different lab, mind you..where they could ACTUALLY do my results STAT and not just tell me they can..and then can't..yeah that was my day Wednesday..LOL!). My results are GREAT! My hCG is now 80 (which means it actually TRIPLED! They want it to at least double), my progesterone is 29, and my estrogen is 327. He said my numbers are great and that I will continue with taking my Estrace 2x a day and my progesterone gel. In 1 week and 2 weeks I will complete more blood work to make sure my numbers continue to rise like they should, and then in 3 weeks we will have our first ultrasound! We will also go back in 4 weeks I believe and should be released from the clinic! This means no more driving back and forth to NYC! It will be bitter sweet I am sure but I just pray that my numbers continue to be great and I have a nice healthy pregnancy!

I'm not feeling too much different, I am getting extremely tired during the day and getting tired earlier at night. I also woke up hungry this morning for the first time. Not sure if that's just a fluke or if it's the start! Anyhow, I am officially 4 weeks and 1 day today..hard to believe but we are SO thrilled! Best Father's day gift EVER for him!!!

Okay, gotta run!
xoxo keep the prayers coming!

All Systems Go!!!

Well, the transfer was successful! I'll start with the beginning of the trip though, just because :)

My sister actually came with us this time. She's never been to NYC before so she thought it would be fun and she didn't have to work. We ended up getting to the clinic and all they had to do was blood work. They basically just needed to confirm that the transfer was going to be the next day. They had said that they would call later in the day to let us know what time it would be. After we left the clinic we headed to Times Square and walked around for a bit and had a quick lunch at Planet Hollywood..since last time we tried to eat there they called us back for the retrieval! After that we went to the World Trade Center area so she could see that..I could walk around there a hundred times probably and never get bored!

Anyhow, we were all pretty exhausted so we headed back to the hotel and checked in and everything. I still hadn't heard from them at 3pm but decided to give it a little longer. We all took a nap and I realized that I had slept passed 5!! I tried to call but it just kept going to their voicemail so I started freaking out..I was finally able to leave a message for the on call doctor. He called me back and basically said from what he remembered from my records, everything looked okay and to just come on in the morning. After that we just basically hung around the hotel and watched some John and Kate plus 8.

The next morning I called and they confirmed that I was on the schedule for 10:45. Then it all started to seem real! This was REALLY going to happen! We got there, they took me upstairs, and I changed into the beautiful gown, booties, and hair net..fabulous, lol! I waited there for a little bit and was able to chat with the lady beside me. She was having her retrieval and I told her what a great experience I had with mine and told her she would be okay. I went in and talked with the nurse..she has been there for every one of my procedures and I absolutely love her! She gave me a shot (of what? I'm not sure, one of my friends seems to think it was Progesterone because that's what she had..so I'm guessing it probably was because it makes sense!) and then basically just went over some of the after care instructions.

Then, they gave me a picture of my little embryo! You would have thought I had seem my full term baby for the first time! My heart literally melted! This was the closest we have ever been to have a baby and I just saw it all before my eyes. Anyhow, they then called me back and I got up in the chair. The doctor talked to me for a second and then they put my embryo up on a monitor and made me confirm my number..it was nice ot see it again :) He then did the transfer, it was quick and easy! Mostly like a pap smear, nothing more than that. Afterwards he said that the embryo looked great and my lining was great..so he expected to hear good news next week! This was SO reassuring to me! The doctor even said so! YES!

Afterwards I just layed back in a chair in the recovery room for about 20 minutes. Then I went and finished talking to the nurse and went over the rest of the after care instructions. They told me not to lay in bed for the next week because all it does is make the time go by longer and can even cause more stress on your body. They told me to go on with my normal activities..just in moderation. The trial coordinator came in and said that I needed to come back next Wednesday and Friday for blood work..BUT they are letting me do it at home. I can't keep driving back and forth for just blood work..it costs us too much money each time! Anyhow..so that means we will find out on Wednesday! I can't believe it! I just keep praying that this is going to finally be IT! It just has to be!

I am remaining positive and following the instructions to have no stress..so far, it's been pretty good. I just can't believe it is so soon! I am also so grateful for our family and friends who are constantly praying for us. I am so glad we have so much support! It is so important and I will be forever grateful to them!

Alright, gotta run but wanted to post about the transfer! God is SO good!!!

The show is on the road!

WOW!!! This last trip to NYC was definitely the most stressful, THAT'S for sure! We had an amazing drive in this time. I drank a Rockstar and actually was able to drive half of the way (for once..I always fall asleep!) and Ross got an Amp for his drive and we were set! We actually made good time too and got to the train station at about 7:15am. We grabbed some iced coffees and something small for breakfast and had to wait about 40 minutes or so for the next train since the weekend schedule isn't as often. So, we get on the train and get to the next station and they announce that we were being held there because of a power outage at New York-Penn Station. We waited for like 20 minutes and then they came on saying that we could get on another train, go to another station, and then take the PATH train into the city. So, we did that, but I was totally frightened once we were headed down the escalator only to see people flying off of it at the bottom into a sea of people!! It was like I saw my death before my eyes! I knew I was going to be one of those people in only a matter of seconds! Anyhow, lucky for us the people at the bottom cleared the way before we got down there. Once we were down there I said screw it because there were SO many people waiting for the same train..we weren't going to get on. So, we went back upstairs to the train we had gotten off of and decided to wait it out..then, they announced that the train was turning around and going back to the station we had come from! We got off and went to a different platform and waited for a different train, we waited probably 30-40 minutes for that one..got on, and then went to a totally unfamiliar train station. We then got on another train to take us into the city (which we had to wait for as well..actually we had to wait for 2 before we could actually get on because there were so many people cramming onto them). We got on, and it took us to another unfamiliar station, luckily there was a subway there and we were able to find a route that would take us to where we needed to get off! UGH! So, what should have taken us 1 hour, took us 4! Ross was able to laugh about it..me? Not so much.

So, we got to the clinic and all I had to do this time was get blood taken. So, we talked to the coordinator and asked him if we could wait for the results since we are from out of town, we needed to know if we had to stay or not. So, we waited for about an hour..in the mean time I went to see if they could extend my FMLA since it only went through the 8th. Well, basically they said no because since the one they were able to fill out was because I had surgery there and paid for it. Since I am receiving free treatment I am really only a number (I check in with a #..not my name) so when my work would call to get medical records, they would only have a surgery listed under my name and nothing else. Freaking awesome. Bah!

After waiting, they called me back and said that my transfer is on Wednesday! WOW! He said that I ovulated on Friday so 5 days after that is Wednesday. They have to do the transfer on Wednesday because they froze the eggs on day 5. We have to go on Tuesday for blood work just to confirm the transfer date, and then the transfer will be the next day! So, he said I basically just have to take it totally easy on that day..so we have decided just to stay the night and then drive back the next day, and I will take it easy Thursday too. I am going to try to take it as easy as possible until it's the date I get tested to find out if I get pregnant or not! I am also taking Estrace (estradiol) 2x a day, and taking a progesterone suppository every night (fun, right?) and will continue those he said for 6 weeks.

So, that's where we are! We are SO close!! If you pray, please please pray that this is it and it works! This is just about our last chance to ever have our own baby and I just pray it works! I feel like I am almost too confident that it's going to work..and I know that I will be let down that much harder if it doesn't work, but I have to remain positive and let nothing get to me!

Better run, I will post when I get back! Wish us luck!

xoxo
Jenn

We're well on our way!

Life for the last 3 days has been CRAZY! We left on Thursday night for NYC. We drove about 5 hours and stopped to sleep, then drove the rest of the way. We ended up getting stuck on the train into the city for about a half hour.."mechanical difficulties". We finally got to the clinic and the first thing I did was get my FMLA form signed! That was such a relief. I then had my post op check from the Hysteroscopy (all is perfect, said I am totally cleaned out, nothing left) and they did my follie/lining check. They are basically monitoring me for when I ovulate so they can do the embryo transfer. My lining is already at 7.5 which they said is perfect because they expect at least a 7 for the transfer and I have about a week until the transfer is done! So, after that we left because this time we didn't have to wait for the results. On the way home they called and said that we need to be back this Thursday for b/w and u/s. Then the doctor called and said that they haven't received the pathology report back, and that it can take up to 2 weeks so hopefully they will receive that by the time I go back. The day of the embryo transfer is getting so close and I couldn't be more excited!

Anyhow, we drove back and then stopped to have dinner with my family since my aunt is in from California. After that we headed to my parents to help get ready for my sisters graduation party. When we got there we realized that my dog was going to have her puppies that night!! SO, at this point mind you we have only had 2 hours of sleep, LOL! Anyhow, we continued to help her and we decided just to stay the night at her house because we didn't want to move the dog in the middle of labor. So, we ended up going to sleep at about 12:30am and I woke up at 3pm to hear a little tiny puppy!! She had birthed the first one and had started cleaning it up. At about 5 she had all of the puppies (all 6!) and we gave her a bath. They are adorable! We have 2 white, 2 tan, 1 dark tan, and 1 black. Anyhow, then we went to bed after that and slept until about 8:30 so we could get everything ready for the graduation party.

I got ready, and went with my mom to get last minute things, got back and started making the food and setting up and everything. At this point my legs were KILLING me! I was starting to feel sooo drained. The party went great though, awesome turn out!

I am still feeling so exhausted though, I don't know how many more times Ross and I can do the drive to NYC! Driving there and back for a 15 minute appointment is getting bad, LOL! I know it is definitely worth it but I think I am going to try to fly this week! Though, the flights don't look too promising, none of the times work out to what I would need!

Alright, this was short and sweet, but I have GOT to rest! I am sooo tired still!

**Jenn**

Decided to go to the ER..

Here's the scoop:

My bleeding still hasn't slowed down. I went pee last night around midnight and had a ton of blood gush out when I sat down, and then when I woke up at 6 I had a TON more just like fall out. It was so disgusting. Anyhow, I got in the shower and was getting ready for work and just started feeling really weak and light headed and shaky..so I told DH that I thought I needed to go to the ER. Well, we got there and had to wait about an hour as I am guessing they were slammed from last night with the holiday..there weren't many people in the waiting room but they didn't exactly take my bleeding much of a priority. We got back there and I changed into a gown and the nurse said that once the doctor came in he would probably want to go a pelvic exam so I would have to take my underwear off at some point. He came in and started asking questions about what I had done, yada yada. Every single person thought it was ridiculous it seemed that we were traveling to NYC for IVF. I didn't want to tell them I was participating in a clinical trial because since I work in insurance, I knew that if they even put a clinical trial diagnosis on the claim, it would get denied..even though the procedure was done as a normal patient and I am paying for it. He did my pelvic exam and said that there wasn't any sort of problem and the blood was just coming from my uterus. He spoke with another doctor and then they checked my blood levels and gave me an entire bag of fluids. They then called my doctor in NYC and they decided it would be okay for me to go home, but I just need to be checked out when we go to NYC on Friday.

So, it appears there's not a real issue (which is what I was really concerned about) and I guess I will just let it run it's course. I am cramping pretty bad again and bleeding really heavily still..it just confuses me that I have no idea where all of this blood is coming from. I already had my period about a week ago and it just seems like so much more than that.

I just keep hoping that it will slow down but it doesn't seem like it's going to any time soon. Guess we will have to just wait and see for our appointment on Friday! This is going to be a long trip if I am still bleeding like this..Holy cow.

Okay..so maybe I'm not feeling so hot.

Okay, so if you have a weak stomach, I will warn you now to turn away. If not, I'm still sorry if I am being too graphic for you, but when you live a life of infertility..it's what I have to deal with.

I had been feeling great after the Hysteroscopy. I only had some slight spotting and minimal cramping..I thought I was in the clear. Sunday morning I went pee, and had nothing when I wiped but by noon it was like a faucet was turned on. I had felt kind of weird and was cramping a little bit but I honestly didn't think much about it. I waited for about 2 hours to see if it would let up and it didn't so I called the clinic. The lady that was in the operating room with me actually got on the phone and asked me questions like how heavy it was and what color it was. I told her that it was bright red blood and it was a lot when I would sit down on the toilet. She put me on hold while she talked to the doctor and came back and said that if I filled 1 pad in 1 hour, then I needed to go to the emergency room. Otherwise, I needed to be seen the next morning. I told her that would be really difficult because I live in Ohio and she said just to call them back with what I had to do because they would need to put that in my chart.

I waited for awhile and never filled a pad. As a matter of fact, it was the weirdest bleeding I have ever had. It never hit the pad, it would only come spilling out when I would sit on the toilet. When I say spilling out, I mean spilling out. There was so much that the water was all red in the toilet. I felt like total shit. I was sooo crampy and uncomfortable from the pad. I contemplated all day on what I should do because it honestly just didn't seem normal. The paper they sent me home with said that I wouldn't get a period for about 30-40 days as basically what they did during the procedure was completely clean my uterus out..so where was the blood coming from?

Later Ross and I decided to get something to eat so we went to TGI Fridays. I felt fine until after I ate..then I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere. Afterwards though we went and walked around Walmart because I wanted to see if it would come out or not. Luckily on our way home Kim (from mybabyish) called me and made me feel a lot better. She shared her experience with having a D & C which is mostly the same thing, except I wasn't having a miscarriage. I decided to wait it out through the night and give the clinic a call in the morning.

I called this morning and spoke to a different nurse. This time she made it sound like it was totally normal since I was on birth control for 3 days before the procedure. I just found it so weird that the girl yesterday sounded really concerned about the bleeding, and today she sounded like it was fine. So..basically all day I just held out and have been dealing with it. Though it seemed to get heavier today as I finally started bleeding onto the pad. This morning though when I woke up I felt like I was going to vomit after looking into the toilet. It just came pouring out..SO gross.

It's these kinds of things that people who can get pregnant so easily don't understand! It's these kinda of things that we have to go through! It's not just frustrating, it's physically painful and horrible.

Ok, that's my rant for now..I'm going to watch it and maybe call my OBGYN tomorrow to see what they think.

Oh, and sorry if this was TMI!

**Jenn**

Hysteroscopy....CHECK!

So, we're back, AGAIN! For some reason this trip seemed so much more exhausting..I think I'm starting to hit a wall.

Anyhow, we left earlier than we usually do because I had to be to the office at 8. We wanted to allow 1 hour from the train station to the office, but we ended up being about 10 minutes late..but that was okay. I for some reason just can't stay awake over night to save my life. Ross always ends up driving the whole way because I just basically crash. This was the first time we had to pull over for about 30 minutes for him to get a power nap. I don't know how he does it to be honest.

When we got to the clinic, they took me upstairs relatively quickly. I went up, they put my band on me and I changed into the beautiful gown, booties, and hair net. I waited there for awhile, I saw the lady before me having the same thing done come out and she talked to me about it and said it was so quick and she wasn't hurting at all. That was reassuring because at this point my leg was shaking like crazy! Anyhow, I talked with the nurse for awhile, she is such a sweet lady. They then called me back and I walked back, got up on the table and was once again open to the world to see. I have definitely lost all modesty. Legs high up in the air, spread, and gown pushed back with about 3 or 4 people in the room=NICE. LOL! Anyhow, the anesthesiologist was awesome. He put my IV in so quickly and within probably a minute I was out!! I woke up in the recovery room which freaks me out a little bit because that means I had to of gotten off of the chair in the operating room, into a wheelchair, and into another chair in the recovery room. LOL, none of this I remember. I just remember waking up in the chair. I basically just laid there for probably 10 minutes because I felt so tired. Once I was okay I got up and got changed and then talked with the nurse about what they found.

They found some Endometriosis overgrowth and she said it scraped off really easily, and that they cleaned out my entire uterus so it's basically all brand new that way I have a better chance of the embryo implanting. YES! I felt so great about that and then wondered if that was the reason all along. It seems like my eggs can fertilize easily but I am wondering if the problem lied in my uterus with not a good place for it to implant. Let's hope this is now solved!

Anyhow, we met with the clinical research guy and he said he would like us to be back this coming Friday for an ultrasound and bloodwork. Luckily this time we don't have to wait (which is going to feel like even more pointless for driving 8 hours each way for something that takes 15 minutes..but it IS worth it I keep telling myself!). He sent me home with Estradiol and Progesterone to take once they call me back with those results. He just wanted to give it to me then so I have it.

One thing bad came out of this whole trip and that was that he wouldn't fill out my FMLA form. I am devastated by this because I am out of days that I can use at work and now that I am on unpaid time off, each section of days counts as an occurance I think. So, I think I will get one from this past trip, next week, and then the transfer. That would be 3! I am so nervous because I HATE having things like that on me. I'm just so scared that it's all going to crumble now..I just pray that it won't.

Anyhow, on the way home I think it was the longest of all. We ended up having to stop again for 30 minutes because he was just too tired..and me, I wasn't any help seeing that I was sleeping off the anesthesia still. Once we got home we were sooo glad.

I really felt fine after the procedure, just a little spotting. But as the day went on I started to cramp a bit and spotted more. I think it was just from the car ride being so bumpy and everything. The next day I didn't go to work because I was having such a hard time waking up. That anesthesia had the best of me I think, It was honestly painful to wake up the next day.

I am really thankful that we won't be missing my sisters graduation party. Our appt is on Friday and her party is on Saturday. I feel bad we won't be able to help get ready like we had originally planned, but thankfully my family is so supportive and they know what we need to do.

The transfer should be in about 2 weeks..so please keep your fingers crossed that it can be on like a Thursday or Friday so I don't miss too much work! I have to have a job! Sometimes it just seems so unfair that no one really gets what this is like. Really.

Until next time!
xoxo
Jenn